The Matrix Musicals
by Geriatric Yoda
Summary: Once again, the Matrix Musicals rises from the dead, this time with a request for 'Ghostbusters' Please R&R, as this may well be the FINAL end to the Musicals. If you review me I'll try and review at least one thing of yours.
1. Agent Smith: An Agent's Lot

SMITH:  
When an Agent's not committed to his assignment.  
AGENTS:  
His assignment.  
SMITH:  
Or beginning to get his little own ideas,  
AGENTS:  
Own ideas,  
SMITH:  
His genius enjoys the thoughts of absolute vengeance  
AGENTS:  
'Solute vengeance,  
SMITH:  
Is just as satisfying as any other man's.  
AGENTS:  
No it's not.  
SMITH:  
Grr! Our intentions we with difficulty cover.  
AGENTS:  
'Culty cover  
SMITH:  
When all deletion's are been and gone.  
AGENTS:  
Been and gone.  
SMITH:  
Just take one thing with another,  
AGENTS:  
With another,  
SMITH:  
An Agent's lot is not a happy one.  
ALL:  
Ah, when there's brutal duty to be done, to be done,  
An Agent's lot is not a happy one, happy one.  
SMITH:  
When the enterprising rebel's not a-rebelling.  
AGENTS:  
Not a-rebelling  
SMITH:  
When the exile isn't occupied in time,  
AGENTS:  
'Pied in time,  
SMITH:  
He hates to hear our little shoes a-tapping  
AGENTS:  
Shoes a-tapping  
SMITH:  
And listen for the gunshot for his crime.  
AGENTS:  
For his crime.  
SMITH:  
When the freedom fighter's finished jumping from one car to another,  
AGENTS:  
To another,  
SMITH:  
He's outside the Matrix, on the run.  
AGENTS:  
On the run.  
SMITH:  
Just take one thing with another,  
AGENTS:  
With another,  
SMITH:  
An Agent's lot is not a happy one.  
ALL:  
Ah, when there's brutal duty to be done, to be done,  
An Agent's lot is not a happy one, happy one.  
  
NEO and TRINITY are sitting in the front row of this particular musical.  
TRINITY: *Yawn!* You sure know how to entertain a girl, Neo.  
NEO: Shut up! Besides, it was either this or the Virus Twins' rendition of  
The Prince and the Pauper.  
TRINITY: Give me those two ANY day.I think they're quite cute, actually.  
NEO: WHAAAT?!  
  
FIN. 


	2. Morpheus: Modern Major General

**MORPHEUS**: 

I am the very model of a modern Zion Captain, 

My last Operator died and left a very nasty bloodstain. 

I know that we must fight to free ourselves from slavery, 

And to do so we must stand up tall and show everyone our bravery; 

I'm very well acquainted, too, with Sentinels and Agents, 

And I've beat them all, they stand among my accomplishments, 

About the Oracle's prophecies, I'm absolutely knowledgeable, 

And if you wish to tell me they're not true, I tell you, that's not advisable. 

**ALL**: 

And if you tell him that they're, he'll tell you that's not advisable... 

**MORPHEUS**: 

I'm well known for my better judgement and annoying risqué; 

I'm constantly told I'll some day slip a disk. 

But until that day comes around, I'll tell you once again. 

I am the very model of a modern Zion Captain. 

**ALL**: 

But until he slips a disk, he'll tell you once again, 

He is the very model of a modern Zion Captain. 

**MORPHEUS**:

I know about our history, about how the machines toppled us; 

And how the Matrix refers to us as an annoying ultra virus, 

I know the human race are no longer born, but grown, 

But I don't really care what they say, _I _say to each his own; 

**ALL**: 

He doesn't care what you say, _he says "to each his own."_

**MORPHEUS**: 

I know Kung Fu, Karate, Judo and Jujitsu, 

And I'm unsurpassed in the deadly ways of Saito Ninjitsu, 

But there's only one who could beat me, oh; 

Yes, I'm talking about our wonder-boy, the One they all call Neo. 

**ALL**: 

The only one to beat him would probably be ole' Neo. 

**MORPHEUS**: 

For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury, 

Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century; 

And now, it's time for me to go, so I'll remind you once again, 

I am the very model of a modern Zion Captain. 

**ALL**: 

His boasting gets on our nerves, but we'll tell you once again, 

He is the very model of a modern Zion Captain!!!

Trinity and Neo are seated in the front row, once again…….

**TRINITY: Geez! Doesn't he go on a bit?**

**NEO: Yeah, but you've got to admit, he _is_ the-**

**TRINTY: Say it, and you'll singing a different tune…**

**NEO: Har-har! Honestly, I can't take you anywhere, can I?**

**FIN. **


	3. Women of Zion: Cellblock Tango

**The Cellblock Tango, Matrix Style!**

By Kitsune-Chan

**Author's notes**: Apologies for any inconsistencies, I wrote this completely from memory. Jue and Thaddeus are from "Final Flight of the _Osiris_," and Cis is from "Program." Du Jour "the white rabbit girl" and Troy are from "Matrix 1." Ice and Kali (or is it Durga?) are other hovership captains. Fleur and Narcissa are from "Harry Potter." Sadako is from "Ringu." "The Twins" could be any set of twins (1&2, Weasley, Patil, Peredhil, Olsen, Fukumi & Fukuyu from "Goldmember"…) you want them to be. 

I own naught but DVDs or books and I seek naught but laughs. On with the show!

**The Bandleader (Jason Locke)**: And now, the six merry murderesses of the Zion Stockade and _their_ rendition of… The Cellblock Tango…

**Trinity**: Pop!

**Switch**: Six…

**Jue**: _Squish!_

**Du**** Jour**: Uh-uh!

**Persephone**: Bellagio.

**Niobe**: Morpheus…****

**Trinity**: _Pop!_

**Switch**:_ Six!_

**Jue**:_ Squish!_

**Du********Jour**:_ Uh-uh!_

**Persephone**:_ Bellagio!_

**Niobe**:_ Morpheus!_

**All**: He had it coming!

He had it coming!

He had it coming all along,

If you'd've been there,

If you'd've seen it, 

**Persephone**: How could you tell us that we were wrong?

**All**: He had it coming… (etc)

**Trinity** (aggressively): You know how some people have these little annoying habits that get'cha down? Like my boyfriend, Neo. _Neo_ like to chew gum – no, not chew, _POP!_ So one day I come home practically dead and I'm _real_ irritated and I'm looking for some sympathy and he's sitting on the couch drinking a beer and chewing his gum – no, not chewing, _POPPING!_ So I says to him "if you pop that gum _one more time…_" (sigh) And he did! So I grabbed the EMP rifle off the wall and fired two warning blasts… _in… to… his… head!_

**All**: He had it coming…

**Switch** (calmly): Apoc Young and I met at a little club two years ago. He _told_ me he was single and soon we were living together. It was a great arrangement: He'd come home, I'd fix him a drink, and we'd eat dinner… And then one day I found out: Single he told me? Single my @$$! It wasn't just that he was married, on no. He had _six wives._ One of those Mormons, you know? So one day he comes home and I fix him his drink as usual. You know what? _Some men just can't hold their antifreeze!_

**All**: He had it coming…

**Jue** (heatedly): So I'm exercising in the Dojo, practicing with my _katana_, when in storms my husband Thaddeus. "You've been screwing the operator haven't you?!" He was crazy! He kept screaming, "You've been screwing the operator!!" He was so worked up he ran into my sword… _he ran into my sword ten times!_

**All**: He had it coming…

**Du**** Jour** (nervously, in Hungarian): I loved my husband Troy very much. One day he winds up murdered! The City police would never accuse me of murder, how can the great Zion police accuse me of murder? I came here for freedom! Councilor Harman, somebody, please help me! How can this be?!

**Cis**: Yeah, but did you do it?

**Du**** Jour** (in English): Uh-uh! _Not guilty!_

**All**: He had it coming…

**Persephone** (evenly, almost proudly): My sister Narcissa and I used to travel all over the Matrix with my husband Mero, performing in clubs. For our final act we did these twenty acrobatic moves: Back flips, flip-flops, spread eagles, the works! One night we were all at the Hotel Bellagio, boozing, having a couple laughs... I left the room to get some ice and when I returned I found Narcissa and Mero doing number seventeen: _the spread eagle!_ Well, after that I just blacked out, I don't know what happened next. _It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands that I even knew they were dead!_

**All**: He had it coming!

He had it coming!

He had it coming all the time,

If you'd've been there,

If you'd've heard it,

**Persephone**: It was a murder, but not a crime!

He had it coming!

He had it coming!

He took a flower in its prime,

If he had used us,

Then he abused us…

**Niobe** (softly): I loved my boyfriend Morpheus more then I could say. He was a real creative type, an artist. But he was always looking to find himself and he would go out every evening trying to find himself, _and along the way, _he found _Fleur_, _Ice_, _Sadako__,_ _Kali_… and the Twins. I guess you could say we broke up due to artistic differences: he saw himself as alive, _and _I_ saw him dead!_

(Finale!) **All**: The dirty bum, bum, bum,

The dirty bum, bum, bum…

They had it coming! (They had it coming!)

They had it coming! (They had it coming!)

They only had themselves to blame (Themselves to blame!)

If you'd've been there, (You'd've been there!)

If you'de've seen it, (You'd've seen it!)

You know that you would have done the same! (You would have done the same!)…

**Trinity**: …_If you pop that gum one more time_…

**Switch**: …_Single my @$$_…

**Jue**: …_He ran into my sword ten times_…

**Du**** Jour**: _I came here for freedom…_

**Persephone**: …Number fifteen, _the_ _spread eagle_…

**Niobe**: …_Artistic differences_…

**Trinity**: Pop…

**Switch**: Six…

**Jue**: _Squish..._

**Du**** Jour**: Uh-uh…

**Persephone**: Bellagio…

**Niobe**: Morpheus…

**(CLANG)**


	4. The Kid: Hotel California

Matrix Musicals 

****

Numero…er…three-o The Eagles' "Hotel California" 

****

****

_NOTE!! _I have not seen "**Kid's Story"** on the Animatrix, but I've been dying to write a "Hotel" song fic for _yonks_, so enjoy!

The KID in this is, of course, the self-same kid that says Neo saved him.

****

**KID:**

**So there I sat in the classroom, playing with my hair,**

**The sweet smell of lunchtime – rising up through the air.**

**Then right by the doorway, I saw a shimmering light,**

**I almost fell off my chair – I nearly died of fright.**

****

**Then, there he stood in the doorway, and I heard the dinner bell ring,**

**But I didn't rise to get up, no, I didn't do a damn thing.**

**And as he looked at me I heard these voices calling from faaaar away,**

**I must've been imagining things – but I thought I heard them say:**

****

**AGENTS:**

**Welcome to the Matrix, run by machines,**

**Such a lovely place (_such a lovely place_), it's an interface.**

**We're coming to get you enemies of the Matrix,**

**What a nice surprise (_what a nice surprise_), we've found him, guys!**

****

**KID:**

**And in some short time he told me – all the secrets of the world,**

**But I couldn't believe a thing he said, not a single thing I was told.**

**"Come now," he said. "Let us go quick – and get you out of here."**

**And that's when half a dozen Agents – decided to appear.**

****

**Well, he took the first three out with some considerable ease,**

**And they couldn't get up again, not even onto their knee.**

**The others all pulled out their handguns, and I thought I smelt B.O,**

**They shoot off every bullet they've got, but they just can't hit _NEO_!**

****

Singing gives way to a guitar solo – taken by LINK

**TRINITY: Man, our Operator can _fly_!**

**NEO: No, no…_I_ fly, _he _operates.**

**TRINITY: I meant he's a cool guitarist, B.O Boy.**

**NEO: Hey, did _I_ choose a name that rhymes with that? _Noooo,_ I was quite happy being Thomas Anderson until _you_ guys came along, and…**

**TRINITY: Please, forget I even _asked_!**

****

**FIN.**


	5. Miss American Matrix

**"Miss American Matrix"**

**MORPHEUS: A long, long time ago... we were at war with machines   
'Cause they wanted to be free.  
And if that if they had their way,  
Then they would make us humans pay,  
And maybe kill us for a while.**

**But on that day, the world stood still,  
they hatched a plan they would fulfil,  
It was bad news for us all then...  
To be kept prisoner by all of them.**

**I can't remember if we tried  
To resist them when they trapped us inside,  
But one thing that I know for sure,  
That's when our freedom _died_.**

**_Now we start singin'…_**

**_My, my, there's this Anderson guy  
Maybe Neo, but we'll see so, for now we'll just try,  
To train him up and see if he is the guy?  
Singing soon he's gonna fly in the sky…  
soon he's gonna fly in the sky._******

**Do you know the Prophecy  
About the One who will make us free?  
Like the Oracle tells us so.  
And do _you_ believe that this is him  
Do _you_ think our chances are slim?  
Whether it is really him, only she knows…**

**Well I know that you're in love with him  
'Cause I saw the way you looked at him  
You don't know if it true,  
While the Agents comes for you.**

**He's just a secret big-time computer hack  
Who lives on his own in an small old flat,  
But I knew that he was the One,  
And that I'd have to try.******

**I started singin'...**

**_My, my, there's this Anderson guy  
Maybe Neo, but we'll see so, for now we'll just try,  
To train him up and see if he is the guy?  
Singing soon he's gonna fly in the sky…  
soon he's gonna fly in the sky._**

****

**Now for 4 years we've been going strong  
And I knew that I wasn't wrong  
But that's not how it used to be  
  
When we first free him from the machines  
Unplugged and saved him by any means  
And helped him learn kung fu.  
  
And while we were away,  
Cipher gave us all away  
He betrayed us to the machines  
No, he wasn't what he seemed.******

**While that Smith captured me,  
The traitor continued to kill the rest,  
But not before Tank put a hole in his chest  
And I knew we might survive.**

**And we were singin'**

**_My, my, there's this Anderson guy  
Maybe Neo, but we'll see so, for now we'll just try,  
To train him up and see if he is the guy?  
Singing soon he's gonna fly in the sky…  
soon he's gonna fly in the sky._******

**Well Neo beat Smith fair and square  
But that damn Agent didn't give a care  
He came back to shoot Neo.******

**Three times he shot and a few times more,  
Until our poor Neo slumped to the floor,  
And we all feared for the worst.**

**But no, he was not yet gone,  
True love's kiss re-awoke the One  
Smith tried to stop him,  
Oh, but he couldn't even touch him.******

**'Cause Neo now knew that it was true,  
And into Smith, he quickly flew.**

**Do you remember what happened then?  
Neo triumphed time and again,  
Oh yes, he was the guy...**

**We started singing…**

**_My…my… there's this Anderson guy  
Maybe Neo, but we'll see so, for now we'll just try,  
To train him up and see if he is the guy?  
Singing soon he's gonna fly in the sky…  
soon he's gonna fly in the sky._**

****

**Hey, guys, how was that, huh? Any good? Please review this, as I am seriously considering to just let the Matrix Musicals RIP…unless people actually _want_ me to continue, in which case, who am I to say no?******


	6. Virtual Rhapsody

**I looked through all the reviews of "Matrix Musicals," and realised just what it is I was trying to stop. When so many of you wanted me to continue, how could I dare say _no_? So here it is, after a long wait, the sixth Matrix Musical…**

**Virtual Rhapsody**

Is this the real life-  
Or digital mastery?  
Caught in a landslide-  
No escape to reality-  
You must open your eyes  
Look through all the lies and see-  
We're all just slaves here, fighting for liberty-  
Because nothing's real, all is lies,  
Living under virtual skies,  
Anyway, the winds blow, could this be my chance for me,  
To be free  
  
Agents, just killed a man,  
Put a gun against his head,  
Pulled my trigger,now he's dead,  
I thought life had just begun,  
But now I know it was never really there-  
Young man, ooo,  
Didn't mean to let you die-  
If I'm not runnung free this time tomorrow-  
I'll carry on,carry on,as if nothing's really changing-  
  
Too late,my time has come,  
Sent Agent's after me-  
Just because I wished to be free,  
Goodbye everybody-I've got to go-  
Gotta leave this all behind and face the truth-  
Mama ooo-  
I don't want to die,  
Sometimes I wish I'd never have known at all…  
  


**Well, I tried to do the part after that, but it never really worked out, so this will have to do…**


	7. Agent Smith: Smith Clone Assimilation

Smith Clone Assimilation – _to the tune of Lordi's "Hard Rock Halleujah."_

**CLONES:**

Smith Clone …Assimilation! Smith Clone…ASSIMILATION!

(CUE HEAVY ROCK INTRO, COURTESY OF NEZBUCK AND THE NEZZERS)

**SMITH:**

The rebel's cornered, on this their Judgement Day

With no fight left in them, they always pray!

My clones and I draw closer,

The end is drawing near.

You'll soon be one of us, so save all you fear!

**ALL:**

We're always needing more clones,

To add to our might,

To strike the rebels down in their stride.

And as our numbers' rising,

We're ready to fight,

So now there's no place to hide…

**SMITH:**

Come all my Smith Clones, come gather to me!

Together we can set this world alight!

Come all my Smith Clones, come gather to me!

We'll find victory at the end of the fight!

(ANOTHER ROCK SOLO)

**SMITH:**

Those who surrender and succumb to their fate,

Will live on as me, to fight and to hate.

All I ask is a sacrifice, that's easy somewhat,

That you let me shove my hand in you gut!

**ALL:**

We're always needing more clones,

To add to our might,

To strike the rebels down in their stride.

And as our numbers' rising,

We're ready to fight,

So now there's no place to hide…

**SMITH:**

Come all my Smith Clones, come gather to me!

Together we can set this world alight!

Come all my Smith Clones, come gather to me!

We'll find victory at the end of the fight!

(YAWN AND ANOTHER SOLO)

**SMITH:**

Oddly smooth hair, a suit on my back,

My teeth are gritted and my shades are black.

Not quite an Agent, but one betrayed

Now that I know where my destiny lays!

**CLONES:**

Smith Clone …Assimilation! Smith Clone…ASSIMILATION!

**SMITH:**

Come all my Smith Clones, come gather to me!

Together we can set this world alight!

Come all my Smith Clones, come gather to me!

We'll find victory at the end of the fight!

**END**

**Author's Note:** Long time, I know…but I just wanted to see if these would be received still as well as they used to be…and you _asked_ for more Smith songs!


	8. Ghostbusters

**Note: Been a loooong time but, as requested, here's 'Ghostbusters!'**

When a man in black

Flies above your head,

What you gonna shout?

GO, NEO!

Well he got shot down

But he still ain't dead,

What you gonna shout?

GO, NEO!

He ain't afraid of no Smiths

He ain't afraid of no Smiths

When he's fighting hard

In a sea of fists,

What you gonna shout?

GO, NEO!

When they shot his girl

Man, you knew he was pissed.

What you gonna shout?

GO, NEO!

He ain't afraid of no Smiths

He ain't afraid of no Smiths

What you gonna shout?

GO, NEO!

If ya all alone

Pick up the phone

And shout

GO, NEO!

He ain't afraid of no Smiths

I hear he kicks their butts.

He ain't afraid of no Smiths

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

What you gonna shout?

GO, NEO!

What was that?

GO, NEO!

What you gonna shout?

GO, NEO!

What you gonna shout?

GO, NEO!

I think you better shout

GO, NEO!

What you gonna shout?

GO, NEO!

**Neo: Damn, I think my eardrums just burst…**

**Trinity: WHAT?!**

**Neo: Oh, har-har…**

**Trinity: WHAT?!?**


End file.
